#3

Ever have those times where you tell yourself “I’m not going to worry about ____.” Than all you do for the rest of that day, and sometimes the next day, and the next is worry about that things you said you wouldn’t?  You end up pouring a lot of time and thought into something you said you weren’t going to devote any time to at all.  I wonder what that is, is it your subconscious telling you that perhaps you should worry about it?  Perhaps the deep dark depths of your mind secretly knows better and is forcing you into dealing with something you want to choose not to? 

It’s an interesting concept, something that perhaps merits a little more study.  Life is interesting in and of itself, there are a lot of little details and seemingly insignificant things that later on you sit there and go “Huh... I wouldn’t have guessed this would have come to that.”   I had an interesting afternoon, I did soundcheck at the club which wasn’t much really it was “plug in the DJ and make sure it’s loud enough without potentially destroying anything” check.  After that I ran over to Long & McQuade where I used to work and spent a fair bit more time than I expected there visiting with the staff and catching up on what’s new, hearing the latest gossip in a certain co-worker there who seems to be as much if not more of a nuisance than when I was still there.  I find it interesting that some things never seem to change, and some things get progressively worse.  All the staff were more or less the same, nothing had changed as far as I could tell.  Yet from what I heard this one particular person seemed to have become quite a problem.  I will not go into any details as I’m commenting more so on the progression of their personal development than on the issues at hand.  I wonder what brings people to think that acting in a certain way is acceptable?

I see that in myself where I do things, or more often than not don’t do things to move forward in my life, or to change things that need change.  All too often I decide that I’ve failed at something before I’ve done it and as a result, don’t end up doing it.  Sometimes all you need to do is abandon all your naysaying and jump into something with both feet.  Sometimes it works out, and sometimes yes, you fail, but that doesn’t mean you should stop trying all together.  I know that I jumped into marriage with both feet, I was pretty excited for it at the time.  Right now it seems like it was a foolish thing to do, it didn’t work out in the end, there were things that came up that are apparently un-reconcilable and it has come/is coming to an end.  On the other hand last spring I took a big leap and decided I was going to play paintball a bunch.  Turns out I’ve played a lot of paintball in the last 10 months or so, and I’ll probably be playing a lot more in the months to come.  So yes, sometimes you win, and sometimes you fail, but that is part of life, nothing more nothing less.

Anyways food for thought, I’d appreciate your feedback and perhaps some interesting discussion will take place as a result (one can hope at least.)