I ain't singing the blues.

So yes, I know in my last post (or two) I said I would get better about blogging more frequently, since it’s been over a week since my last post that clearly has not happened.  I suppose since lately all I’ve been up to is playing Xbox and job hunting online I should have time to maintain my blog.  And the answer is yes, I have the time, but no I do not have the motivation.  As a weak excuse I did edit a post the other day in regards to the ex, she emailed and asked me (not all that politely, but asked none the less) that I remove a certain portion.  I as such removed what I felt was necessary.  That being said, that isn’t really blogging that’s editing.  As a side note she is insisting again that we “get together on purpose rather than run into each other by accident.”  There are two problems with that thought, for one I don’t wish to ‘get together’ we have nothing to discuss unless it pertains to “sign on the dotted line please”.  Two, if we do run across each other it will be in a situation where neither of us are obligated to talk to the other, and are most likely out with our own friends.

That’s what I’ve got, short sweet and to the point.  I have a couple of thoughts that I’ll hopefully develop into a post in the next day or two.

Metal, cookies, and ranting oh MY!

So I realize it’s been a week since my last posting, and honestly that’s too long.  I meant when I started this to at least post every other day if not daily, and here I am procrastinating like I always do.  SO here is the brief update on where I’m at as exciting as it is. 

No job yet, I need to send out another batch of resumes I keep putting it off even though I should be doing that daily.  I had an interview a week ago which so far I have not heard back about, though they said it may be as late as next week before I hear back.  The job sounded like what I’m looking for, which is less physically demanding and more ‘stable’ than what I was doing previously... alas I must endeavor to keep looking.  In the worst case I do have a back up plan I can try, or I can try EI for a bit which would still drive me nuts.

Still playing much paintball, I’ve been out (I think) every week since the second or third week of January.  That means I’ve been out probably just as much in 2011 as I was in 2010 already, that’s something I’m actually proud of.  That being said I do have welts on top of welts, on top of welts-- which I’m okay with.

After my last blog I received an email from “The Ex” mostly rehashing some things she stated in previous emails.  She keeps insisting that “Let's plan to run into each other sometime instead of being caught off guard.”  I responded as I always do, informing her that I have no need to see her in person, and if she has anything she needs to say or get off her chest she should just inform me via email.  I like to think I’m a fairly smart guy, and something tells me that she has something she ‘has’ to tell me but doesn’t feel it’s appropriate via email.  Fact of the matter is I feel no need to interact with her in person, hell I hardly feel like interacting with her via email.  Fact of the matter is that she asked for the divorce and letting her go has been incredibly difficult, I’ve been trying my damnedest to move on with life and seeing her in person would invariably be a HUGE setback to any progress I have made. 

Anyways enough about that depressing drivel, today I fold laundry, vacuum the basement for dad, and tonight I rock... sort of, there is a metal show at the Distrikt tonight that I’m not particularly excited for.  I’m not usually excited for metal shows in general as for the most part I find they’re all obnoxiously loud, and usually sound like more of the same stuff as the last one.  “This next song is about decapitated christian eating zombies that want you to know your god is dead.”  Yeah yeah, come up with something original will you?  It’s like they completely forget that all their metal buddies have written all their songs about the exact same thing... Give me something fresh and original rather than the same, recycled, old, angry stuff.  I to this day maintain that I would start a metal band IF we could write and sing songs about fuzzy bunnies and happy elves and cookie recipes.  Imagine for a minute wouldn’t you some very metal guy up on stage screaming “Two cups of flour, one cup of chocolate chips, one teaspoon of salt, one teaspoon of vanillaaaaaagggghhh!!!”  How’s that for twisted and messed up?

Enough of that for more, I’ll let your brains wrap themselves around that for a while.

Frank Sinatra crashed my laptop...

It’s been too many days since I last blogged, my brain almost had my type too many blogs since I last dayed... Must not be fully awake yet.  Makes me think I need to start getting better at waking up earlier, as well as blogging more often.

So I’m going to start off with something that’s been ‘bugging’ me for the last several days (almost a week) which hasn’t been bugging me much, it’s just been on my mind a fair bit.  Last thursday night I did a show at The Exchange which was pretty good, a little off the beaten path for me but a good show none the less.  Aside from sound check etc the night started off with two of my ex wife’s friends showing up.  No words were exchanged, no looks were exchanged (as far as I know) I knew they were there, they knew I was there I assume.  A part of me really wished I had a gorgeous lady friend to come fawn over me a bit just to get their goat as it were.  Alas that wasn’t going to happen.  I did however also run into her cousin’s ex girlfriend and had a very good (and informative) chat with.  The two of them split after Aubrey and myself, and one thing she said stood out like a sore thumb.  “It was weird trying to talk about it, (me and Aubrey) it was almost like it never happened.” When I asked her to expand on what “it” was, her response was simple “Everything.”  Some may think that’s a pretty crazy statement, may wonder “how does an entire family just ‘forget’ about four years?  My response, I don’t know really, (I have edited the est of this segment as per a request via email.)

Anyways other than that life has been pretty descent, though today we move my brother into my parents house (where I’ve been staying since I was asked to move out).  He’ll be here for 3 weeks from the sound of it while Boardwalk sorts out his new apartment, after his old one has now flooded twice.  On the up side all of his stuff has been un-damaged from what I hear.  

The job hunt is going, nothing yet, but it’s still early on.  I had an interview which I don’t think I blew out of the water, but I feel like I did fairly well at.  I’ll find out Sometime next week or early the week after about that one, in the mean time I’ll be putting out more resumes.  If any of you happen to have leads on work I’d appreciate it, I’m looking for something not in the production industry if at all possible.  I’d also like something that isn’t too demanding physically as my back is still sore from MLS.

Anyways, that’s what I’ve got for now... more blogs to come!!!

Horoscopes and Hamburgers

Well yet again it’s another late night-sorta wired blog... sue me.
I had a thought tonight (well several to be precise) but this one is standing in the forefront.  Don’t you just love Horoscopes?  For the most part they’re so vague and generalized that the odds of them not coming true are nigh impossible.   Take for instance my horoscope for today (Gemini in case you were wondering.)

"You should be feeling especially passionate now, Gemini, especially regarding partnerships. Romantic partnerships definitely call for an evening alone together. Professional and creative ones, on the other hand, call for a new project that you both believe in. Look to events in distant states or foreign countries for inspiration. Something begun far away from home could capture your imagination."

Lots of use of “should be” and “could” in there, nothing definitive for the most part.  Don’t get me wrong I’m not going on some rant and bashing them, just pointing out that they’re carefully written so as to not suggest a definite outcome or end product, but instead to point you in a certain direction.

I find that sometimes I do that myself in conversation with people.. “you could do this” or “try this” I often make statements and carefully word them so as to not be definitive.  I use such statements to give people the option to choose their own path, even if I know what the answer ‘should’ be.  Perhaps I tend to be too much of a pacifist (bearded monk?) in dealing with people, I don’t want to impinge on their right to choose for themselves, even if I do know better.  Though that begs the question, do I really know better? I know lots of things, perhaps sometimes just enough to be dangerous, but do I know all the right answers on a given subject? 

More food for thought I suppose, what I do know is that I am definitely now tired and with that being stated, I am off to bed.

Take care and Talk to you all soon!

Happy Corporately Driven Love Day

So I decided I should blog today,  that being said I’m starting off without much of an idea of what to write.  I suppose the usual platitudes of “Happy Valentines Day” are in order, and I hope you all have one.   Myself I plan on celebrating it by watching a lot of Deep Space Nine, and than going out for wings tonight with friends. 

I’ve never actually been ‘big’ on Valentines Day even when dating, or while being married.  To me it seems a little bit... well dumb.  Why should you take one day out of the year to make a special show of your affection towards that someone special, and especially the same day as everyone else?  Wouldn’t it be better to show that special person how you feel about them when they’re not specifically expecting it?  I’d say this is worth consideration at least.  Of course this also has practical reasoning, factor in that on Valentines day usually the price of chocolate, roses, and the like all go up, so why not wait a week, or a month, or however long you wish and save a little money (or spend the same amount of money and get more?)

Enough of that anyways,  I hope you all have an excellent day!

#3

Ever have those times where you tell yourself “I’m not going to worry about ____.” Than all you do for the rest of that day, and sometimes the next day, and the next is worry about that things you said you wouldn’t?  You end up pouring a lot of time and thought into something you said you weren’t going to devote any time to at all.  I wonder what that is, is it your subconscious telling you that perhaps you should worry about it?  Perhaps the deep dark depths of your mind secretly knows better and is forcing you into dealing with something you want to choose not to? 

It’s an interesting concept, something that perhaps merits a little more study.  Life is interesting in and of itself, there are a lot of little details and seemingly insignificant things that later on you sit there and go “Huh... I wouldn’t have guessed this would have come to that.”   I had an interesting afternoon, I did soundcheck at the club which wasn’t much really it was “plug in the DJ and make sure it’s loud enough without potentially destroying anything” check.  After that I ran over to Long & McQuade where I used to work and spent a fair bit more time than I expected there visiting with the staff and catching up on what’s new, hearing the latest gossip in a certain co-worker there who seems to be as much if not more of a nuisance than when I was still there.  I find it interesting that some things never seem to change, and some things get progressively worse.  All the staff were more or less the same, nothing had changed as far as I could tell.  Yet from what I heard this one particular person seemed to have become quite a problem.  I will not go into any details as I’m commenting more so on the progression of their personal development than on the issues at hand.  I wonder what brings people to think that acting in a certain way is acceptable?

I see that in myself where I do things, or more often than not don’t do things to move forward in my life, or to change things that need change.  All too often I decide that I’ve failed at something before I’ve done it and as a result, don’t end up doing it.  Sometimes all you need to do is abandon all your naysaying and jump into something with both feet.  Sometimes it works out, and sometimes yes, you fail, but that doesn’t mean you should stop trying all together.  I know that I jumped into marriage with both feet, I was pretty excited for it at the time.  Right now it seems like it was a foolish thing to do, it didn’t work out in the end, there were things that came up that are apparently un-reconcilable and it has come/is coming to an end.  On the other hand last spring I took a big leap and decided I was going to play paintball a bunch.  Turns out I’ve played a lot of paintball in the last 10 months or so, and I’ll probably be playing a lot more in the months to come.  So yes, sometimes you win, and sometimes you fail, but that is part of life, nothing more nothing less.

Anyways food for thought, I’d appreciate your feedback and perhaps some interesting discussion will take place as a result (one can hope at least.)

Missing something?

So I’m sitting here Thursday morning, my second last day of this job and you think I’d be bursting at the seams almost, but I’m not.  Perhaps that will be closer to tomorrow at 5ish? 

I have a feeling that there will be things I miss about this job just like there are things I miss from all of my other jobs.  Some have far more good memories than others obviously.  I miss working at places like Joey’s Only, Dairy Queen, and even Long & McQuade sometimes because of some of the great people I got to work with.  I miss working at Moxies, not for the work environment or for the friends I made while working there (there weren’t any.) I miss it for the things I learned working in that kitchen, that place inspired me to try new things in the kitchen, which is generally a good thing. 

I’m not sure what I’ll miss about working here at MLS yet.  It was good to be able to focus on what’s my next gig, and getting to work with piles of gear.  But at the same time it was a lot of work setting up and tearing down, and driving hours and hours between shows.  I know I won’t miss waiting for months for the boss to fix a tire on one of the trucks, or paying for tow trucks and repairs on the vehicles and waiting to be reimbursed.  I’m not going to miss being asked to wait on depositing my pay cheque.  I know I’m not going to miss moving piles and piles of computers and waking up with sore body parts as a result.  So what is it that I will miss? I honestly can’t peg one thing... maybe nothing...

It’s like my (failed attempt at) marriage.  There are things I can tell you I miss about it.  The closeness, the having someone to talk to at night, someone to come home to and lay beside.  Someone to try out new recipes on.  There are of course plenty of things I don’t miss from that relationship but for the time being I’m not going to focus on them... Reality is that it’s all in the past and there isn’t much one can do about the past, unless one of you has a time machine I can borrow.   Fact of the matter is that I have a future ahead of me and I need to work on making that excellent. 

And with those words in mind I ask; who wants to play Star Trek Monopoly tonight?